Liberal family values, conservative hedonistic sex

I'm not sure how I managed to overlook this article...maybe because it was written on election day. But it's one of the best and most important that I've ever read.

The article is about sex, politics, and family values. It describes how sexual and family values have diverged in conservative and liberal areas - but not in the way you might think. The Red States are moving toward a model where teen sex is demonized by Evangelical Christian organizations but is universally practiced, where marriage is early, and early divorce is common; the Blue States are moving toward a model where premarital sex is accepted, but is less common, marriage comes later, and divorce is much more rare.

There's a whole lot more in the article than I could discuss in one blog post, so you should really just read the whole thing. But here's a taste:

The vast majority of white evangelical adolescents—seventy-four per cent—say that they believe in abstaining from sex before marriage. (Only half of mainline Protestants, and a quarter of Jews, say that they believe in abstinence.)...But, according to Add Health data, evangelical teen-agers are more sexually active than Mormons, mainline Protestants, and Jews. On average, white evangelical Protestants make their “sexual début”—to use the festive term of social-science researchers—shortly after turning sixteen. Among major religious groups, only black Protestants begin having sex earlier...

Among blue-state social liberals, commitment to the institution of marriage tends to be unspoken or discreet, but marriage in practice typically works pretty well...In 2004, the states with the highest divorce rates were Nevada, Arkansas, Wyoming, Idaho, and West Virginia (all red states in the 2004 election); those with the lowest were Illinois, Massachusetts, Iowa, Minnesota, and New Jersey. The highest teen-pregnancy rates were in Nevada, Arizona, Mississippi, New Mexico, and Texas (all red); the lowest were in North Dakota, Vermont, New Hampshire, Minnesota, and Maine (blue except for North Dakota). “The ‘blue states’ of the Northeast and Mid-Atlantic have lower teen birthrates, higher use of abortion, and lower percentages of teen births within marriage,” [researchers] Cahn and Carbone observe. They also note that people start families earlier in red states...

Of all variables, the age at marriage may be the pivotal difference between red and blue families. The five states with the lowest median age at marriage are Utah, Oklahoma, Idaho, Arkansas, and Kentucky, all red states, while those with the highest are all blue: Massachusetts, New York, Rhode Island, Connecticut, and New Jersey. The red-state model puts couples at greater risk for divorce; women who marry before their mid-twenties are significantly more likely to divorce than those who marry later...

The “pro-family” efforts of social conservatives—the campaigns against gay marriage and abortion—do nothing to instill the emotional discipline or the psychological smarts that forsaking all others often involves. Evangelicals are very good at articulating their [conservative] sexual ideals, but they have little practical advice for their young followers. Social liberals, meanwhile...[have a] new middle-class morality [that] is squarely pro-family...For too long, the conventional wisdom has been that social conservatives are the upholders of family values, whereas liberals are the proponents of a polymorphous selfishness. This isn’t true, and, every once in a while, liberals might point that out.

The implication of these findings could not be starker: The conservative Evangelical Christian approach to family values has failed. By trying to force people into a model of sex that rarely works, it has increased divorce, single parenthood, and teen pregnancy. Like it or not, Bristol Palin's story is the direct result of Sarah Palin's approach to life.

Meanwhile, the liberal approach to family values has succeeded. Low divorce rates among middle-class liberals are the proof that a more flexible, tolerant attitude toward sex and marriage produces stronger marriages - and, if you believe as I do that 2-parent families are the best, more healthy families.

When the Sexual Revolution came (as it comes to every country that gets rich), liberals allowed their family values to bend. Conservatives refuse to bend, and so their families broke.

The sad thing is that bad family values last for many generations. Single parenthood breeds more single parenthood, and deadbeat fatherhood is a norm that is incredibly difficult to expunge. We have seen this pattern with African American families, and now we are seeing it with Evangelical Christian white families. And, sad to say, they have only their own social model and religious institutions to thank for it.

But an alternative family model is there - a model that works. That model is the liberal model, and we are rapidly discovering that it is the only way for a rich society to avoid family breakdown. Instead of preaching about how liberal values will lead to Sodom and Gomorrah, conservative Christians should open their eyes and realize that the truth is quite the opposite.