Back from Bermuda and the 20th Century! (And let me tell you, boy, you can have it. One big modern mess...)

My apologies to all my faithful readers for the long absence. After being forced at gunpoint (well, OK, they paid me) to edit an entire book for the Japanese government in two weeks, I left Japan, my home of 2.5 years, took a week-long trip to China to see what the fuss was all about, and then returned home to a place I'd never lived - sunny Los Angeles, where I now spend my days playing with wireless gadgets and trying to plot my takeover of the country.

I thought it was impossible, but Americans got even fatter while I was away.